If a calorie is a unit of energy, then what does it mean when we see that a certain hamburger has 600 calories, for example? It means that if we were to light the burger on fire completely, the REACTION that takes place would create 600 calories of energy…not…that you should ever eat a burger this way…unless you’re a pyro…

Now that the complex science is out of the way, here’s the golden rule: If you take in more calories than your body burns, then you gain fat and if you take in less calories than your body burns, then you lose fat. Since fat is the body’s way of basically ‘saving energy for a rainy day,’ that excess fat will stay until it’s burned off some how.

Some of you may be wondering, “Well then what’s the point of doing an all protein or low carbohydrate or low fat or other diet if all I have to worry about are calories?” Good question and the answer would lie more readily in PREFERENCE. You see, one gram of carbohydrates has 4 calories, one gram of protein also has 4 calories and one gram of fat has 9 calories. If you were to go on an all protein diet, but consume more protein calories than you burn, then chances are you’re probably still going to gain fat and, hence, weight.

There are other radical schools of thought that may beg to differ on the efficiency of a protein diet versus a low carbohydrate diet, but we are simply clearing up the calorie in this article – and taking in less calories than one burns is an almost surefire way of losing fat or weight regardless of the specific diet. Interestingly, in February of 2009, a clinical trial led by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health and Pennington Biomedical Research Center of the Louisiana State University system found that, “diets that reduce calories lead to weight loss, regardless of carbohydrates, protein or fat content.” Regardless of diet, it was found that not only did weight drop, but also waist circumference.

So whether you really want to fit into your favorite clothes or simply want to lose some weight and don’t want to be too picky about your diet, the very least you could do is keep track of those calories and start burning away – just try not light anything on fire except for maybe the barbecue, stove or oven okay?

-Health Pistachio

In my innocence, I formed the idea that Starbucks must have originated in Italy with all its pompous names for fucking sugar-coffee but here’s the kicker…apparently Starbucks is from Seattle!

I do have to give them a little credit, however, for the “small” cup herein entitled “Tall.” This “Tall” cup ranks a mighty 12 fl. oz and thus practically adds an inch to your penis! Next, we have the medium size ironically labeled “Grande.” Apparently the Starbucks owner’s inbred dyslexic cousin was in charge of naming the drinks since he spent 8 years learning Spanish in high school. But my favorite is the Venti. I recently learned that it’s 20 ounces!

Oh I get it! It’s twenty in Italian!

Fuck you.

~ Ventilator

Ken Block = God

Here’s the proof:

~ Mech 21

The movie tells of the origin of Hal Jordan and his induction into the Green Lantern Corps. That’s right. It CLEARLY explains who the Oans are and what the power source for the Green Lanterns is. In fact, the story plays out very similarly to the way it occurred in the comics.

I especially liked the way they represented Sinestro as an iconic Green Lantern that everyone looks up to but with a malicious dark side waiting to rear its ugly head. He was characterized perfectly. Sinister indeed.

With this movie I think that DC has given itself a perfect starting platform to do more sequels from. I would especially like to see more of the other color Lanterns and from there maybe segue into a “Blackest Night” animated crossover event… Hey a fan boy can dream!

While I liked the story structure and characterization, I can’t say I was all too impressed with the animation. At its best it was a little better than the normal fare you get from an animated TV series. It just seems like it could have been much better but they just didn’t care enough to try.*Sigh*.

That being said I still would recommend this movie to anyone who might be interested… And it can keep you entertained until “Superman/Batman: Public Enemies” comes out at the end of September. Oh man, I can’t wait for that! (Is my fan boy showing?)

Overall Adherence to Original Comic: A-

Green Lantern’s Adherence to Original Comic Character: A+

Sinestro’s Adherence to Original Comic Character: A+

Story or Plot Line: B

Animation: C

~ Charlie Midnight

As for the positives on this game, it is all a Dynasty Warriors fan could ask for. Multiple characters and Mobile Suits are at your disposal to crash, smash and destroy all mechs in you path. The game itself is much like DW: hack and slash, power attacks, team attacks and large battle maps. The graphics are pretty upscale and if you like mindless violence (I do!) then it’s a pretty solid game.

And now for the game-bashing section - when I said mindless, I wasn’t kidding. I could spend hours upon hours hacking and slashing to the satisfaction of my thirst for…hacking and slashing to…my…satisfaction. No hidden features and no side games; just battle after battle. Usually you could cover all that up with some fancy cut screens and good story. Wrong! If you have no idea what a Gundam is or haven’t watched all of the series then you will have no clue what they are talking about. It’s a very complicated series and I myself am not clear on a lot of it. I just skipped all the talky-talky.

Kill! Crush! Destroy!

Old Majin says: Do robots dream of electric suck?

Maybe.

~Majindomo

When I first saw the preview for this show I thought it might have some potential because the animation looked really good… I was not disappointed. It’s animated quite well in a 3-D format – a format that we all know has quite the potential for cheeeeeeeeese. Besides, it’s not everyday that you get Final Fantasy Advent Children quality 3D modeling in a T.V. series…yet.

Now yes, the story is radically different than the traditional Iron Man we know from the comic since this series is geared towards kids. Tony Stark is a teenager in high school, with James Rhodes and Pepper Potts as his classmates, who has to juggle high school and being Iron Man, while trying to prevent his late father’s company from being perverted towards evil ends by Obidiah Stane.

According to this show, Tony invented the Iron Man armor as a teenager before he had the injury to his chest – guess this Tony Stark didn’t have to fight off a bunch of terrorists after getting a chunk of metal lodged into his chest but hey, if Smallville can change a comic’s story line, then SO CAN THESE GUYS.

Overall I’d rate this series a B+. This new spin hasn’t caused the action to suffer at all. There’s plenty of Iron Man action and the new twist on some classic villains is very well done. The only reason it’s not an A+ is because of my personal bias against the dramatic change from the adult Tony Stark to a high school teenager. Eh.

So if you’re a fan of Iron Man or just want some quality action animation, then I would recommend checking out this series.

-Charlie Midnight

Ascension City is rocked by a terrorist attack, its buildings reduced to rubble, and its air defenses left in enemy hands. Spencer, otherwise known as the Bionic Commando, is called into action. Enhanced with a bionic arm and packing some serious firepower, it’s up to you to save the city. Hoist, lift, and crush your way to save human life.

I have to say I’m not disappointed at how this game turned out. This title offers multiple levels of high swinging gun blazing action. The game play is pretty straight forward with smooth and well-rounded graphics and the camera movement works with you as you smash and propel yourself along. A decent selection of weapons is at your disposal and the new bionic arm boasts a multitude of offensive actions to go along with being able to Tarzan everywhere you can grab. It kept my attention, and took a little time and quick wits to finish.

My only gripe with this game is the cut scenes. Whereas cut scene graphics are usually better than game play graphics, Bionic Commando’s were long and uneventful with piss-poor graphics. I thought the in-game visuals were actually much better. I like that this is a continuation from the original game, but the story could have been a little better thought out. Eh. What can we say? Hollywood economics are at it again – CG over story line – a timeless battle.

Old Majin gives the new Bionic Commando his cyber-seal of approval.

~Majindomo

Sure many critics are saying that the film was highly predictable but then again…IT’S A FREAKIN’ ROMANCE MOVIE! I’m not so sure that I would have liked the film at all if it ended with a nasty plot twist – Guess what? Mike Chadaway was dead the whole time and the woman he was chasing, Abby Richter (played by Katherine Heigl), can see dead people. Nope doesn’t quite do it for me…

Before anyone starts accusing me of being a chauvinistic pig for supporting this film, keep in mind that the three screenwriters of the film were, Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith. HMMMM. Now unless we’re dealing with a trio of dikes that just have it out for women, I think it’s safe to say that plenty of thought was given to the ‘ugly truths’ about both sexes mentioned in this film.

So without further ado and any more plot giveaways, watch this film and you might learn something about today’s unfortunate dating scene – and don’t worry, you won’t have to look for any hidden red items; don’t worry Mr. Shyamalan, your plot twists blow this film out of the water.

-Beeswax

Fighting and fantasy combine into an epic saga in this game from the creators of Guilty Gear. The world of Battle Fantasia was once shrouded in darkness and mankind made six valiant attempts to defeat the darkness, but each battle was lost. It finally took the courage of four mighty heroes to restore light to the world. With peace restored, two kingdoms were established: the Steam Empire and the Magic Kingdom. With the darkness rumored to be making a return, a group of powerful warriors from around the world has gathered to make a stand for all of mankind.

Before I tear into this title, let’s go over some of the ups in this little number. 12 characters and an equal number of landscapes bring this game to life. The animation is beautiful and smooth – very anime-esqe. Learning to play and mastering combos is pretty simple (maybe a little too simple, erm). Heck it’s a lot like playing the Guilty Gear games.

But good gravy is this game boring!!! The story is long and rather unimaginative. I’ve thought up better story lines taking a dump (and not even on the dumping part - I mean on the wiping part!) When you play the story line, you have to “click” through seemingly hours of dialogue. I thought I was playing an RPG and wasn’t having fun. On to game play. Remember how I said it was easy to learn? That’s because there isn’t a whole lot of moves. With a whole plethora of fighting games out there and hundreds of attacks and combos, why take a step backwards? To top this game off with a righteous cherry, they stick you with a boss character that literally will take half an hour to beat. Serious? This is a side-scrolling fighting game!

This game should go back to the realm of suck and sit there alone for a very long time…where it will probably go into a long dialogue confirming how much it does indeed suck.

Old Majin says NAY! Play Guilty Gear instead.

-Majindomo

The first thing I’ll say is that I was NOT disappointed. I think I made a good call in my earlier blog (Whew! That’s right, stay back ye villagers and ye primitive pitchforks!). I noticed some weird things but the movie as a whole was a definite A!

All the new kinds of robots were really well done and they really captured the whole post-apocalyptic atmosphere. Seeing things like rogue bands of humans, some good and some not so good, lent a sense of realism to the backdrop of the story. It also made sense that John Connor wasn’t the actual leader or “brains” of the resistance effort but more its heart. In times of great peril people have a tendency to listen more to how they feel than what’s actually logical.

In staying true with tradition, a brand new kind of beast is introduced to us in the form of Sam Worthington, who is clearly the star of the movie. He’s a terminator construct that is more organic than anything ever produced by Skynet and so therefore has no programming beyond the memories of the original DNA owner, Marcus Wright. I believe his paradoxical situation makes him one of the more interesting characters in the series. Oh and many compliments to Mr. Worthington for his excellent performance.

Now, I do wish there was more of John Connor in the movie but it seems that maybe the movie-makers are holding off on that so they can carry the series a couple more films. It’s unfortunate and clearly a major fault. John Connor is the hero of the saga and should be featured prominently in EVERY film since Terminator 2. I even heard that this role was beefed up a little for Christian Bale because he was originally considered for the role of Marcus Wright… This is rather sad. Hopefully we can get back on track for the following film.

My only other complaint is that it appears that when the machines find Kyle Reese (played very well by Anton Yelchin, who also plays Pavel Chekov in this year’s Star Trek) they don’t really know what to do with him. Capturing him is their number one priority but I would hazard that they don’t really know why (Hey, here’s the guy that travels back in time to father John Connor. Let’s throw him in a cell from where he can eventually be rescued and still go back in time). We have met the enemy and he is stupid.

These issues put aside, this movie is quite enjoyable and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for some action-packed fare. It has quality acting and pace that never let’s you go. I hope to see more of this cast in the future!

-Charlie Midnight