Posted on September 18, 2009 | Category: Buzz
Okay, I can’t be the only person who, while waiting in line at the infamous Starbucks, has had to go over what I wanted in my head ten times using a line memorization technique from high school theatre: “Grande decaf mocha malt frappuccino…Grande decaf…”and so on. But the worst is when I forget the special size names so I say “Can I get a large blah de blah blah and the stupid acne-faced punk has the nerve to say “Don’tcha mean a VENTI blah blah blah”. Uhhhh *suppress eye twitch*.
In my innocence, I formed the idea that Starbucks must have originated in Italy with all its pompous names for fucking sugar-coffee but here’s the kicker…apparently Starbucks is from Seattle!
I do have to give them a little credit, however, for the “small” cup herein entitled “Tall.” This “Tall” cup ranks a mighty 12 fl. oz and thus practically adds an inch to your penis! Next, we have the medium size ironically labeled “Grande.” Apparently the Starbucks owner’s inbred dyslexic cousin was in charge of naming the drinks since he spent 8 years learning Spanish in high school. But my favorite is the Venti. I recently learned that it’s 20 ounces!
Oh I get it! It’s twenty in Italian!
Fuck you.
~ Ventilator
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